*Sighs* *Stretches* *Gets off the Couch*

From August 2010 until August 2011, I undertook an amazing task--change my life for the better over a 365 day period, focusing on getting rid of both mental and physical healthy. It was tremendously successful and empowering, and I ended those 365 days with a lot of personal pride.

Me at 37 weeks pregnant in November 2012

And then, in the fall of 2011, I got pregnant. As many of you know, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks that sidelined me emotionally and physically. I used food to ease my pain. I didn't feel like running or going to the gym.

Then, less than two months after the miscarriage, when my weight had soured back up to the heaviest I'd ever been at 235lbs, I got pregnant again! I was over the moon excited, but I knew my body was not in the right place to gracefully endure a grueling 9 months of pregnancy. Then, at 10 weeks, we discovered that I was actually carrying identical twins, which made the effect on my body all the more stressful. I capped out at 291lbs during my pregnancy, but I knew that there was no way I was going to let that stick around once the boys were born. I'd done too much work in 2010 and 2011 to allow that to happen.

And here I am, almost a full year later, and I still am more than ten pounds above my prepregnancy weight (which was already way too high) at 248.4 lbs. I'm back in size 20 pants and XXL shirts. My double chin should have its own zip code. I never work out. I cancelled my gym membership to save money because I literally never used it anymore. To say that I'm back where I was in August of 2010 would be generous; I'm way, way below that low.

So, here I am again, ladies and gentleman. I am here to make a number of changes, not only physical ones, and I'm going to do it the only way I know how. I'm going to do it the way that it worked for me in the past. I'm going to set weekly goals on Sundays, and I'm going to blog every damn day. You'll read or you won't. I'll post progress pictures, meal pictures, whiny rants, you know...you've been on this journey with me before.

This time, I'm calling the journey "365 days to a Better Mommy" because while I want to be better for myself, I also think it's very important to be better for my little guys. They love me and need me desperately. I need to be here for them for a long time and I need to be healthy for them. I don't want them to have to worry about me or take care of me. I don't want them to have to wait while I catch up to them on a walk. I don't want to be the fat mom. So there's some added incentive.

Here are the goals for the 365 days:

1. Eat better and eat less. All I eat is sugar and garbage. This needs to stop or I will end up with diabetes. After experiencing a diabetic lifestyle briefly while pregnant and diagnosed with gestational diabetes, I can't do that. I won't, if I can help it.
2. Get moving. These children are going to want me to run around with them when it gets warm again, and I'm just nowhere near being able to do that. 
3. Cut ties with my devices. I am addicted to my cell phone. Thanks a lot, Steve Jobs, you evil drug pusher. I spend a lot of time on it doing absolutely nothing of import. Refreshing my Facebook over and over again? Yeah, I can do that while I walk on a treadmill. I need to cut down and use my time more productively.
4. Finish my novel and get it out to agents and publishers. This is pretty straightforward. I've never finished a novel before and I'm 40k words in to this one, so I just don't want to lose my momentum.
5. Try new things. I'd like to say yes to more experiences this year. I think that life with infant twins has made me a little boring. It's a chore to take the kids to freaking Target, so I find myself never getting out and going to new places or new events. I don't think this is fair to either them or me. I want to try something new whenever possible.

 So that's that! Not so hard, right? Yeah...my goals for week #1 will be as follows:

• Count calories and stay under 2,100 calories on every day except Sunday (the boys' birthday party...I know, I'm already making excuses...)
• Only look at my phone when the boys are not in the room unless I'm receiving a text or a call
• Walk 5 miles this week
• Write 3,000 words in my novel